Strength is followed by illness;
youth must yield to old age; life gives way to death, we do not live life on
years but in hope.
Standing by the side, leaning
against the brick wall in cremation ground in Lanjuphakha in Thimphu, Bhutan, praying and watching how the fire
engulfed Angay (grandma), 75 years old, who finally surrendered to death after a prolong
illness on 11th May 2012.
What is this life? Many around
didn’t care only few relatives were with teary eyes but most others were
cracking jokes, lofty laughs, without a thought that death is there for every
one of us, to one of the man, it was a special date teasing and talking to some
beautiful ladies around. I don’t know whether it’s good to think about it or to
forget until we experience ourselves.
Angay was wrapped in thin cloth
and put onto the heaps of firewood ready to be burnt, priests were performing
puja for Angay’s and other six’s quick liberation from the world of suffering.
As I have read in Bardo Thoedrol
“Liberation by Hearing” and ”Tibetan Book of Living and Dying” we can only be
liberated if we understand everything as the creation of our mind based on the
fruition of our karmic deeds, while roaming in this intermediate state.
Fire was finally lit and flames
took upon it, smokes rising high and Angay gradually disappearing from our
sight. I just thought “Angay’s existence
would just be a story now.
Will she now understand and realize that every apparitions that she may encounter till her 49 days as the creation of her own mind? Will she realize and follow that light that shall bring her the swift liberation?”
Will she now understand and realize that every apparitions that she may encounter till her 49 days as the creation of her own mind? Will she realize and follow that light that shall bring her the swift liberation?”
Now she feels no heat, and her
body idly lying on the aggressive flames, she does not have sense of love, no
attachments, no to care, no shyness nor proud of her body, that was loved,
cared, protected and nourished for years.
Neither her husband guarded her
nor her sons were present to protect her from the hands of death, neither those
sophisticated advanced technology ever helped nor the brightest heads of
doctors were of any help. Now she was
fed to the fire, naked on the flames leaving everything behind, her husband,
sons, daughters and grand children, beautiful house and lands.
I stood aside, as the fire fed on
Angay, I prayed “O! the daughter of noble
family, finally death has come to you and you are going now, understand that,
whatever apparitions you encounter on your way, is just the creation of your
own mind, recognize the illumination of your mind and follow it, so you’ll be
liberated”. Donot cling to this earthly matters, your sons and daughter shall
take care of them. Donot look back to your decaying body and cry for it, it not
going to help you…. Recognize and understand all you encounter are drama of your
own mind”.
The fire turned aggressive,
fleshes burnt and bones to ashes, smoke rose high above as if taking Angay to
the heaven up. Panic stricken, “this time
is briefly borrowed, and we’ll fly away one day” I cried. Looking back, I
saw her grandson just 5 to 6 years old, who turned toward me and asked “Uncle Angay nga tse besa lok hong ya?”
(Uncle will grandma come back to us again?)
At first I was dump like a dog, but
I couldn’t answer him wrong, so shaking
my head to tell him “No, now she is gone
forever” I said “Pray and tell Angay
safe journey”.
Having said I walked home, but
that little child still not believing me remained watching the last burning
fire……...
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